Something sure to eventually induce insanity has been going on in the Tjader household recently. Lila turns into a pumpkin. Every night. For three hours. Her “witching hour” begins at 10 p.m. and winds down around 1 or 2 a.m., after she — and we — have reached the point of utter exhaustion.
“Sounds like Colic,” one of her doctors said recently. “There’s really nothing you can do. It should get better in a few months.”
A few months? After 13 weeks of bedrest and 10 weeks in the hospital with Lila, you’d think I’d have mastered the virtue of patience by now. Afterall, a few months is nothing! Not so. “I want to fix this … I mean, I NEED to fix this now and you’re telling me there’s no way to fix it? Great. Can I bring her back to the hospital and pick her up in a few months then?”
Of course I’m only joking. Sort of. Every night we watch this precious little girl wailing uncontrollably and I wonder what we’ve gotten ourselves into. Nothing works. Nothing. During Lila’s hospital stay, I was a very competent mother. I walked through those NICU doors at the end of it all feeling a little cocky, actually, knowing that my baby was a good-natured, very content baby. I “knew” my baby and having her home was going to be wonderful, joyful and any other happy “-ful” word you can think of. I was not prepared for her to start acting like a REAL baby!
Lila left the hospital a preemie and came home a newborn. It’s like the nurses flipped a switch in her and said, “So you think you can do our jobs, do you? Go ahead and try!” I concede. I know nothing about parenting. Certainly there are happier times (just not between the hours of 10 p.m. and 1 a.m.). In fact, I go to bed at night after negotiating with my three-month-old for three hours, fall asleep and have nightmares about becoming pregnant again. I wake up thinking, “Noooooooo!!!” I hear my fellow pPROM moms have experienced a bit of this, too. Can you say, “Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome?” But then I wake up in the morning and bring Lila into bed with me, feed her and snuggle for an hour or two. She’s so cuddly and terrific in the morning. I must learn to become a morning person.
Here’s to the end of 2010 and hoping that 2011 brings quieter bedtimes. 🙂