Baby Tjader's Journey

A life undefined by pPROM, prematurity and Cerebral Palsy.

Pity party June 30, 2010

Filed under: Bedrest — Aimee @ 6:40 pm

I came home from the hospital two weeks ago to begin six weeks of home bed rest. Now I have less than four weeks to go until I’m admitted to the hospital. Surprisingly, the time has flown by. I guess that’s bound to happen when you take two-plus naps every day. πŸ™‚

It’s been an up-and-down kind of day. I know I’m bound to experience highs and lows, but I still can’t help but feel guilty when I get in a slump. I tell myself I need to suck it up and quit feeling sorry for myself. I have so much to be thankful for and SO MUCH to fight for.

Still, I can’t help but think about all that I’m missing out on while I lay here in bed. We’re missing the family vacation to Lake of the Ozarks this weekend. My sister is at the beach today and I certainly won’t be joining her this year. We’ll need to get rid of our tickets for the Bayfront Blues Festival in August. No 10-year high school reunion for me, although I wasn’t entirely convinced I was going to go. We’re partial season ticket owners to the Twins, but I’m relegated to watching the games on TV. No bike rides. No dog-walking. No work. No Eclipse movie. No baby shower. No more dreams of a healthy, natural pregnancy and birth. No Justin Bieber concert, either. πŸ™‚

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I promise my next post will be brighter.

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6 Responses to “Pity party”

  1. Shanda & Glen Says:

    Hang in there, Sweetie. Can’t imagine what it’s like ‘tho. Next summer will be better – definitely, that sun, beach, all-included we’ve been talking about. Wishing all 3 of you love & patience. S

  2. Ma T Says:

    I can understand what you are feeling. I had all those same feelings when my MS prevented me from doing a lot of the things I loved doing. But with the love and support of my family and friends, I get through it! I’m still getting through it!! You are a strong woman, and there is a lot of love and support out there coming at you, Tyler and Baby Tjader. Keep your chin up, and your butt firmly planted! We love you all!
    Ma T

  3. Lileks Says:

    I’ve found that when I spend a lot of time at home, I want to spend more time at the office. Then I spend more time at the office and I want to spend more time at home. Perhaps I’m only truly balanced during the commute.

    Dogs help, though, don’t they? Surely they’re keeping you company.

  4. Jessica Gessner Says:

    Thanks for posting your story, it gives a lot of women in a similar situation some hope πŸ™‚
    Here is another great website: http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6718373/pprom_support_group
    And Facebook has a pprom page too.
    I noticed you talked about the Twins, you must be in the Mpls area?!
    I really related to your story, my husband and I live in Mpls, we were having an uneventful, healthy pregnancy until June 17 when my water broke at 16weeks. It’s been a roller coaster the past week & a half. My ObGyn sent us to United to a perinatologist and they didn’t seem to hopeful. But our a ppt today we had some fluid, very small amount (1.7 only), but it is more Ghana last week! The heartbeat was strong & urine in the baby’s stomach & bladder, YAY! Even saw baby G’s legs moving around πŸ™‚
    Our next appt will be in 3 weeks, so bed rest until then.
    Anyhow, just wanted to say HI and I hope your progress keeps getting better !

  5. Mary Jo Says:

    I know this is a late reply to an older post, but I liked your complaining…I really did and it’s really good to vent, your life has FOREVER changed and your pregnancy took a drastic turn So let’s think about this…think about the things crappy bed rest does give you, one thing I’m thinking of is the SUPER peaceful sleep you get every day and all night long (soon, that will change drastically and for YEARS) so relish in that, and well your boobs….they must be bigger:) or maybe that’s for Tyler to be happy about instead of Twins games…yeah BIG boobs that he can’t do much with besides look at:) haha! WEll, sleep is something I’d pay millions of dollars for if I had it, that and I’d love for my boobs to go back to where they were when I was 22….:)
    Anyway, keep writing, keep posting, save this ALL, because one day your baby girl or boy will be a grown man or women and see the fight in you, and know that you had it in you to get through one of the most amazing yet frightful rollercoasters ever in your life- and they’ll forever look to you for strength!

  6. Mary Jo Says:

    oh yeah…and seriously….Justin Beiber?!?….you’re a serious nerdsel! I know that’s a joke right…it has to be?!?. I can just see you laying in bed, singing “Baby, baby, baby oooh, oh baby, baby, ooh” while rubbing your belly. Yup, nerdsel ALL da way:)

    just a little humor for you, not intending to offend… if he really is your most played song on your ipod!??


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